Mariaam Bhatti: Tales of a Domestic Worker
Being a childminder or housekeeper leaves one at the centre of the life of the family for whom one works. Yet one is not expected to say anything or be involved in how things are done, because they are ‘not family, just a servant’ – just like the eight-year -old girl I looked after used to remind me in her nice innocent manner, obviously just aping what she had heard adults say.
I realised from my experience that nothing could stop a childminder from loving the little innocent human beings they look after, no matter how badly they may be treated by the parents. But I never liked witnessing violence in the family. I had enough of my own problems to find myself in the middle of arguments, and I hated it with all my heart when it involved the children and I could do nothing about it, because I was not the child’s mother.
One time the girl was being beaten by her mother because a previous minder, a young women from Mauritius, had visited while the mother was away and brought the girl some little presents, some nice art-and-crafty stationery and some sweets.
This woman had looked after the kids for about a year before my predecessor, the Brazilian girl I replaced after less than a month. She had obviously missed the girls, especially the older one, and I am aware the little girl missed her too as she spoke to me many times about her, and that she had promised that someday she would come to see her.
I did not find that odd, except that the previous childminder would not visit when the mother was around. So it transpired that a family member who was still in contact with the Mauritian girl had made her aware that the girl’s mother was going away for the weekend and that she was taking the smaller child with her, but the older girl would be home and it was okay for her to visit.
I was in town after my weekly spring clean on the Saturday when she visited, but when I returned the excited little girl told me all about it, and the gifts she received.
Then the relative took me aside and said that the visit was to be kept a secret from the girl’s mother, who would not be pleased that the previous minder visited. It spoke volumes to me that this relative did not have a problem ‘smuggling’ the previous minder in because she was a very nice person and she loved the kids, but also that the mother would ‘overreact’ if she knew. I felt it would have been nice if everyone got along and nobody had to sneak around each other.
I did not get involved in any of it since the little girl was not in my care during the planned visit, but when a month later the mother found the presents in the girl’s bedroom, she beat the hell out of her. It broke my heart that I could not help her and I thought to myself, if only the previous minder had known that her love for the girl would lead her to be bruised in such an awful way.
To be continued...
Mariaam Bhatti is a member of the Domestic Workers Action Group and Forced Labour Action Group of the Migrant Rights Centre Ireland.
