I have several letters which will keep this column going for a little while. I want to keep hearing from you, though – your opinions, your experiences, your voice! What we are doing here has the potential to change things for the better. The more we make our experiences and thinking part of the common knowledge in our society, the more we are validated and gain the personal power to be ourselves and realise our own potential.
Dear Shalini,
Thank you for your thoughtful responses to my questions. It is true that it is not the story I was hoping for but the truth is better than a well-spun tale, especially if you have to live in it afterwards!
One follow-up question I had was, how quickly do you think the country is changing? If we waited three years, or five years, would we arrive in a substantially easier country to live in for a South Asian (or other immigrant)? I would be delighted if you were able to use my question to generate a discussion on this issue.. Cian
That’s an interesting question – how fast is Ireland changing? I am writing this particular response to you while attending a conference in India – the Paravasi Bharatiya Divas conference, welcoming and discussing issues of Indians in the diaspora. In the European panel I gave a talk about Indian children born abroad, and how experiences of racism hurt our self-esteem and impede us from feeling at home or realsing our best potential. Afterwards, several Indians from all over the world came up to me say how they had experienced this. How fast would they like their societies to change? I am not sure it’s a matter of how long, but rather for us to have the skills to love each other and support one another to be our best regardless of it.
In terms of the rate of change in Ireland, there has been much more immigration to Ireland in the last five years than ever before, and now many people would argue that Dublin, at least, is a multicultural city. There are some positive initiatives being made to show a celebration of diversity.
Still, RTÉ – as reported in this paper – has expressed the opinion that Irish people don’t respond as well to a ‘non-Irish’ face in the media, which tells us that they are not very comfortable with the reality of diversity. There also remains a difference in the visibility and numbers of people who are settled here versus the community of people who are here for only a few short years (students and people working here temporarily). It seems to me the main issue for making this society a more empowering place to live for immigrants is not a matter of time, but a matter of skills. We must first be able to talk about what the problems are before we can some up with strategies to challenge them.
One of the biggest issues is isolation. More than the fact that our numbers are few is the fact that our freedom to be ourselves is curbed. As a result, we feel disconnected and disenfranchised. But the more aware you are, the more your partner will be able to share with you the experience – and the more we as a community get together and validate each other, the easier things will get.
One last thing – your partner has to have a reason why she wants to move to Ireland that goes beyond you and your relationship with her, that is something for herself. Otherwise, she will always see this as a country that had nothing for her personally. Her life will be out of balance and somewhat unfulfilled.
The fact is that love makes each of us willing to see things we never saw before and to go places we’ve never been. Sometimes, life’s greatest lessons come from the unexpected. If your partner does decide to move here, I hope we, as a community, won’t let her down.
Let’s get a proper discussion going – what is life like for Black and ethnic minority partners migrating to Ireland, and how quickly is Ireland changing to make things better?
I understand this is an issue close to the hearts of many Irish people today, and look forward to you, the readers of this column, contributing your own insights and experiences to the discussion. And please, write with any other experiences you wish to raise here. We’re off to a great start!
E-mail Shalini with your experiences and comments to: shalinisinha@eircom.net
All details will be held in the strictest confidence
Shalini’s next column will be in Issue 16 on 8 February
