The religion of Islam, like Judaism and Christianity, is a strong advocate of marriage – though quite unlike certain elements within the Catholic faith, celibacy is actually frowned upon as being against the constituent nature of man. So important is marriage among Muslims that the Prophet of Islam declared this noble institution to be half of one’s religion.
For Muslims, choosing a partner presents its own unique problems, as a potential spouse’s compatibility is more often based on concerns that have little or nothing to do with Islam. Islamic jurists down through the ages have differed on what constitutes this compatibility, with some placing an emphasis on lineage and status and others stressing religion as being primary.
The consensus opinion would appear to be that held by Imam Malik – one of the four main jurists in Islam – which is in accord with the statement of Prophet Muhammad: “A woman is married for four things, ie her wealth, her family status, her beauty and her religion. So you should marry the religious woman [otherwise] you will be a loser.”
In emphasising the importance of religion, the Prophet also said to women: “If there comes to you an offer of marriage, one with whose religious commitment and character you are pleased, then marry him. If you do not do so, there will be mischief on earth and widespread corruption.”
Such was the Prophet’s commitment to an egalitarian society based on Islamic principles that he is reported to have given Zainab bint Jahsh in marriage to Zaid, his freed slave – a union that would have been unheard of in pre-Islamic Arabia. Other notable examples include the marriage of Bilal Al Habashi (a freed black slave) to the sister of AbdurRahman ibn Awf of the Quraish (a noble tribe among the Arabs).
Unfortunately, the mischief and corruption spoken of by the Prophet is still widespread today, as ethnicity and status have replaced the importance of religion, resulting in refusals of marriage to those outside people’s own narrow ethnic and social class. Indeed, in Ireland and elsewhere we are plagued with notions of Arab/Asian superiority that are all too often presented in the constitution of our mosques and, disappointingly, are tacitly approved by our political elites.
The notion of brotherhood established many generations before us has sadly been replaced with the evil of nationalism and partisanship that judges a person based on ethnicity and status, rather than the equitable principles outlined by the Prophet.
Allah says in the Qur’an: “And marry the unmarried among you and the righteous among your male slaves and female slaves [a noble example of the emancipatory nature of Islam, where former masters were encouraged to not only free slaves, but also honour them as equals through the rite of marriage]. If they should be poor, Allah will enrich them from His bounty, and Allah is all-Encompassing and Know-ing”. In other words, neither poverty nor ethnicity, status or lineage should prevent a marriage so long as there is compatibility in terms of religious commitment – all else only furthers the spread of mischief and corruption.
While practising Catholics must seek Church permission to enter a mixed marriage, Muslim men are free to marry Christians and Jews – though compatibility is paramount and similar to Catholic prescriptions, such that any offspring must be raised Muslim. Like their Jewish counterparts, Muslim women are strictly forbidden to marry non-Muslims.
Once a suitable marriage partner has been found, both are encouraged to live in mutual love and respect for each other. Allah says in the Qur’an: “They are garments for you and you are garments for them” (2:187).
And just as garments provide warmth, support, protection and adornment, so too must spouses endeavour to provide the same. Indeed the Prophet said: “The most perfect believer in faith is the one who is the best of them in good conduct. The best of you is the one among you who treats his wife the best.”
Liam Egan is south-east branch manager with MPACIE (Muslim Public Affairs Committee Ireland), a sister concern of the UK Muslim advocacy group MPACUK.
